Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Internet Despots

Eve and I once frequented a website that was a networking site for moms. We'll call it - MomBistro. We met some internet friends, had a few laughs at the expense of others (seriously, you wanna talk asshats, this place is a treasure trove) and generally enjoyed ourselves. Eventually though the power the women who ran this site possessed made them dizzy and twatty. Blogs were deleted, groups were disbanded, members vanished in the night. It was like a good Mob movie, complete with a few virtual horseheads and all.

So, we were invited to join another mom networking site created by one of the disappeared, we'll call her - Cuntney. Oh what a breath of fresh air, what pleasure, what delight to have this great site where everyone was on equal footing and behavior wasn't regulated with the use of brute force or cyber Ritalin. Peace reigned in the valley - for awhile. Cuntney seemingly overnight when from one of the girls to Head Mistress. Cracking the whip and pinning girls down under her cloven feet she loved to take pictures of. Fees were being charged for membership to cliques, girls were jumped and attacked by the pack, picking off the weak or opinionated, one by one. The fur flew, slander was committed and Cuntney turned out to be a cyberstalker and blackmailer of epic proportions. But, her husband cheated on her fat ass, a lot, so really, she got her karma when it was due. We laughed.

Eve and I then gave the mom networking thing one more shot. This time with a more mature studio audience. We'll call this site - Flirting with Forty. Now admittedly, only one of us was old enough to be a member (we won't say who) but we both joined after a small white lie on one of our parts. The site was mellow, the vibe was cool and everyone did their own thing without a problem. Until, once again, people and posts vanished into the ether, gangs and bullies reared their ugly heads and the leader ruled with an iron fist. Suddenly you were kicked out of groups you had created if you didn't kick up a fee to the Bratva (or Russian Mafia, Red Mob, whatever you prefer). Racketeering, initmidation, the whole she-bang. Ivanka the Terrible was out for blood.

We are women, we consider ourselves feminists, but we have to say, bitches make terrible internet forum admin. Our theory is their lives are so sad, their children so stupid, their husbands so ugly, their parents so neglectful, their sex lives so dead that lording over women on the interwebs is really the only power these women have left.

So, to Cuntney, Ivanka and the MomBistro crew, you madams are asshats (and really fucking awful people). Here's to karma bitches!